|PHOTO CREDIT: SHEHEARTSTHAT.COM|
These questions would make anyone feel uncomfortable by just reading them. On a daily basis, I hear just about every question about being single known to man. The last questions, "... are you... you know" has became to most disrespectful one of all- not because someone's questioning my sexual preference, but because they would assume homosexuals just live their lives... single. Regardless the reasoning behind it, it can turn from innocent questioning to aggravated assault very quickly with someone becoming pissed and ready to storm off.
I, for one believe most people are just afraid of being or dying alone... and our society has been conditioned to think that if you haven't started your family before you get old and pass away, that you just failed at life. So when am I going to settle down? I'm pretty sure most people will agree with me that you can not physically be in a relationship with yourself. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the suffix of RELATIONSHIP is -ship which means the state of being something. Some people who think deeper than others, will say of course you can be in a relationship with yourself. Yes, that's fine and dandy, but we're talking about two individuals. Speaking from a women's P.O.V., lots of women feel obligated because of pressure from family or friends and women actually regret settling down too early because they thought they were ready and thought they wanted it. Who wants that kind of regret?
I recently had a conversation with my grandmother and she asked how my love life was going. I'm not sure how anyone else's conversation goes when they're speaking to their grandparents about their love life, but I wanted to start it and end it in the same sentence. I was quick, short and straight to the point... "I don't have a love life" and the conversation should've been over. If anyone knows me, you'll understand that I'm not a traditional woman and don't believe in chronological order when it comes to LIVING life. For example, I don't frown upon single women/men with children, having children before marriage, or couples living together without marriage. I believe it's a complete waste of time to harp on what others are doing wrong when my own life deserves attention. If so many people thought the same way, our world would be much better. Anywho, she then asked, "are you putting yourself out there?" When she asked this question, I started laughing. It was funny to me because I was asked this question from someone who thinks she's a Relationship Expert (well everyone who's in a relationship thinks they're an expert, lol) Well, she TOLD me that I wasn't putting myself out there and that is the reason I'm not with anyone. How do you actually put yourself out there? When you put yourself out there enough, are the men/women supposed to flock? Personally, I don't want to put myself too far out there, that it turns into a priority and it's all I look forward to during the day- searching for a man to bite my bait. And who actually wants to rush anything these days? Have you heard the saying:
"Your teens are for learning, your 20s are for playing out what you've learned, your 30s are for reflecting on what you've learned, and your 40s+ are for teaching what you've learned."I can truly say that what I have learned in my 20s is that boys aren't ready to be men. Trust me, I am absolutely fine with waiting for someone that is maturely ready to start a relationship. My advice to anyone who's still single is to move at your own pace. Being the last single girl isn't as bad as some people make it seem.